Thursday, September 01, 2005
eternity* verisimilitude -
how do you start by writing about your day.
obviously put your fingers on your keyboard..
but what if.. your mind operates faster than your hands
with no recollection of watever reflections you had the entire day.
but i shall try my very best.
day spent with all the motivation in the world.
but in the end it was all thinking without any physical action.
(now do you tell the whole world abt everything that happens in a suckerfied day.. or just the feelings that accumulates. so much so its impossible to tell anyone (they will just think your weird having so much emotions in such a short span of time)
loneliness is creeping its way onto every breathe of my body.
heart aches for someone to just be around.
no accuasations.
no suspicions.
no screaming.
no yelling.
no disappointment.
all these thrown at you at a single blow.
with the mind as a shield but never speaking up.
what you get in the end is so much emotion.
no outlet.
voices screaming inside to speak up.
the mouth never cooperates.
what you get in the end is the slow and painful tears that falls together with water frm the shower.
this is the period of self pitying.(i have no qualms to this confession)
but what everyone is oblivious to
as the tears flow down.
your inner strength gets stronger.
another brick is added surrounding your heart
i hate my vulnerabilities.
i hate it that one small blow.
just turns my world upside down.
not that anyone can see it.
i never seem to show..
suck it up..
and everythin crashes once solitude sets in.
you say im childish.
have you ever thought why?
is it mY fault im childish?
is innocence to the world that is away frm my reach a crime.
im not the one holding the key that unlocks my freedom.
Granted.that i can get hold of it if i want to.
but do you think pushing me to what you call ideal will make all things right?
that watever you think its the best for you is for me too?
in your eyes im a spoilt brat.
who have lil or none experiences of life under my belt.
but do you realise maybe i never TOld you
maybe its jsut to painful to tell?
have you ever thought about it
or maybe im just too young.
ive grown much throughout the past years
the wall gets higher each day.
after the tears that is.
such a beautiful disaster
x12:11 AM
eternalise this phenomenon ; exqusite this masterpiece
Thursday, September 01, 2005
eternity* verisimilitude -
how do you start by writing about your day.
obviously put your fingers on your keyboard..
but what if.. your mind operates faster than your hands
with no recollection of watever reflections you had the entire day.
but i shall try my very best.
day spent with all the motivation in the world.
but in the end it was all thinking without any physical action.
(now do you tell the whole world abt everything that happens in a suckerfied day.. or just the feelings that accumulates. so much so its impossible to tell anyone (they will just think your weird having so much emotions in such a short span of time)
loneliness is creeping its way onto every breathe of my body.
heart aches for someone to just be around.
no accuasations.
no suspicions.
no screaming.
no yelling.
no disappointment.
all these thrown at you at a single blow.
with the mind as a shield but never speaking up.
what you get in the end is so much emotion.
no outlet.
voices screaming inside to speak up.
the mouth never cooperates.
what you get in the end is the slow and painful tears that falls together with water frm the shower.
this is the period of self pitying.(i have no qualms to this confession)
but what everyone is oblivious to
as the tears flow down.
your inner strength gets stronger.
another brick is added surrounding your heart
i hate my vulnerabilities.
i hate it that one small blow.
just turns my world upside down.
not that anyone can see it.
i never seem to show..
suck it up..
and everythin crashes once solitude sets in.
you say im childish.
have you ever thought why?
is it mY fault im childish?
is innocence to the world that is away frm my reach a crime.
im not the one holding the key that unlocks my freedom.
Granted.that i can get hold of it if i want to.
but do you think pushing me to what you call ideal will make all things right?
that watever you think its the best for you is for me too?
in your eyes im a spoilt brat.
who have lil or none experiences of life under my belt.
but do you realise maybe i never TOld you
maybe its jsut to painful to tell?
have you ever thought about it
or maybe im just too young.
ive grown much throughout the past years
the wall gets higher each day.
after the tears that is.
such a beautiful disaster
x12:11 AM
eternalise this phenomenon ; exqusite this masterpiece